Sunday, September 23, 2007

no woman no cry

yesterday was the first day i didn't cry about kyle. i worked at my private practice, then came home and got caught up in the Yankee vs. Red Sox end of season rivalry, in which the Red Sox are, once again, trying to raise the blood pressure of their fans to bursting. i'm not sure what i did after that, but i didn't cry.

today i have made up for it. i am working on a project outside of my normal full time UCLA jobs and private practice days. and i've been following today's Yankee/RedSox debaucle (Red Sox lost, Yankees won, cutting Red Sox lead in the division to a thin 1.5 games, again). but also i've been doing financial stuff. which has required me to go through stuff on my desk, which is a disaster (where did kyle get his habits from?). this is what i find:

Ky's social security card
his credit card
3, count-em 3 "You're Pre-Approved Kyle McLeod" offers from Chase Bank
the Neighborhood Church New bulletin with a note that
flowers were given in honor of Kyle -- thank you, Robin R.
my notes for my memorial speech
copy of Gearey's memorial speech
cards and more cards from so many
a pay stub from Kyle's final check
banks statements from the joint account i have with Kyle
Ky's cell phone, which i can't turn off because i can't bear it
his SFSU transcript which i hadn't opened yet, then did

so i stopped sorting
and started crying
meeting today's and yesterday's quota i'm sure

2 comments:

Robin said...

Oh, my sweet Auntie, oh....I know it hurts, I know it hurts....like when we spoke...the one inconsolable grief....hold on, hold on....you are not alone.

sbl2383 said...

there is no quota for tears...they're like streams that ebb & flow with the seasons & memories.....as does grief....

am in oregon - how about a walk on the beach next week?

love, suzanne