i have the best friends in the world. they are all here for me right now. they call, email, leave phone messages. i've started to go out a bit: we grab a bite, see a movie, walk, swim. maybe just exchange emails or talk on the phone. they ask how i'm doing. and then they listen as i go on and on, verbalizing every insight i get, exploring every question i am struggling to answer, expressing every weird turn of emotion. they hand me tissues when i inevitably start to choke up and tear. they take my hand. i have had more hugs in these (OMIGOD IS IT REALLY???) eight weeks since ky's death than i had in 15 years in the theatre.
i try to--and do--ask questions about them. about their work, relationships, kids, health--but soon the topic of conversation has turned and i am talking again. i feel bad about this, but only to a point, because this talking, this telling of my Life After Losing Kyle in all its many twists and turns and up and downs, is so very helpful. being listened to, being heard, being understood is the best medicine right now.
but one more thing about these friends: they understand when i can't be with them, return a call, bear to speak or see a soul. my friends really get it. i love you all so much and i am so grateful to have you in my life.
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2 comments:
Cynthia, you do not go on and on! And your company is a gift. Your friends love you because you are lovable, and we want to be here for you because everything you have to say moves us, enriches us, amuses us, interests us, is meaningful to us. Whenever you need us, we will be poolside, tableside, by your side. Much love, Eileen
Cyn, Like I've told you so many times, you bring out the best in people. We love you because you inspire love. (I think I hear a motown song ...) Thinking of you and wishing you peace. XX Della
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