The Things He Carried

Ky was in between homes when he died. for a lot of the year he'd been living with Bobby Gardner and a roommate, but the roommate didn't want Ky to live there--and for a reason I didn't figure out--that kid got to call the shots. so Ky was staying a lot with Sean and then he was staying with Gabriel and Ali's family. some of his things--like his computer and his bedding and his green canvas bag--were there. and i think other things were scattered other places. he had his backpack with him when he fell.

Ky's dad gave him the green canvas bag. it is a handsome bag and Gear had had ky's initials embroidered on it: KCM. he gave it to Ky in anticipation of his future traveling. on the 7th of July last year, Gear picked up Ky's things in San Francisco and drove them back to LA. he transferred them--including Ky's computer and the green bag--to my car.

as for the computer, i had a techie friend clean it up. she gave me a CD with some of his files, organized the desktop with shortcuts, and counted his tunes, about 9000. i put the computer up in his/Sal's room and it stands there with the ghost slide show and as a repository of all his music. friends are welcome to come and make CD's.

it took a long while to look into the green bag, but Gear asked for it back of course, so i transferred Ky's things to a paper bag. since last July i had partially gone through it once or twice, but i'd not been able to sort the things and deal with them. similarly, i have not been able to go through Ky's drawers and closet.

on the anniversary of Ky's accident, i sat down with Devon and Flynn and went through the contents. in his sturdy green bag, given with so much love and hope from his dad, Ky had packed:

the incense box/holder MaryLou gave him on Christmas Eve

the refrigerator magnet that looks just like Toby that i put in the kids' stockings

the size 14 slippers than Gear had given him at Christmas 2006

his equally huge green flip flops

Bukowski's The Captain is Out to Lunch and The Sailors Have Taken Over the Ship

Murakami's The Wind-UP Bird Chronicle -- the same one he'd given me for Xmas and had given Laura

the book: The Best Travel Writing, 2000 --another present from his dad

miscellaneous school papers and assignment sheets, kind of in a jumble

head phones

a small handout/poster of a June 8th concert, EEK-a-Mouse, Live at Shattuckdownlow

a small incense burner

a small travel cocktail shaker -- probably from me

a couple of keys

deodorant

spare underwear, a black tie, and a pair of cutoffs (stained with paint)--all his clothes still smelling of him


after Flynn and Dev and i were done, i carefully put everything back in the paper bag. i'm still not ready to make decisions about Kyle's things.