after all the sturm und drang of choosing a marker and ordering it and waiting months, gear and leeann and i met at Forest Lawn last friday and watched the workman lay the marker on Kyle's grave.
as you can see, it is beautiful. simple, elegant, dignified. no enamel paint. no fake leather texture. with the saying, that Gearey picked out, by Robert Louis Stevenson that fits Kyle's tragically short sweet life. we looked down at the marker and smiled and agreed, perfect.
it was a warm late afternoon Friday and even The Coyote came out to visit us--tho it was well over an hour before sundown. i told leeann and gear about my calling, "Kyle" a couple of times to the coyote the last time i saw him, and how the coyote stopped and perked up his ears. and leeann said something about all the people who must think this coyote is the spirit of their relative. yes, i thought. that's a lot of responsibility for one coyote.
looking at the marker, of course, you see the blank space. that's for me, for my name. because the top bunk in the grave is mine. a little spooky, but also calming, knowing where i will be. that miranda and my family will not need to make a lot of decisions. i've done the responsible thing, making plans, finally. and calming because i will be with my beautiful boy. in that beautiful place. with that very handsome marker.
i would really like to have a marker that says something funny. like the gravestone that said, "i expected this, but not quite yet." or maybe a real honest message like, "if there's an afterlife, this opportunist believer-come-lately will be trying hard to let you all know." or "next time, bring a travel glass, please, with a gin and tonic."
or "it's about time you dropped by."
maybe i'll have a contest. valuable cash prize for the most fitting saying. i really want something that will crack up those who--years and years, maybe centuries from now--wander about.
or maybe my marker should say, "To learn more about Cynthia Gayle Whitham--google me."
5 comments:
the marker is really well done. it got me thinking that I have to take care of getting a marker for my mother, most of whose ashes are still at home with me (some were scattered at sea in Pocasset on the day of her memorial service), but who needs to get buried in her family plot in Milton.
When I saw Kyle's marker on Miranda's site, I put out feelers with my family as to appropriate sayings for my mom. Elise has your sense of humor. Her idea? Grammy's most usual question before going anywhere "Do you have to tinkle first?" :) -w
Wanda - how sweet and funny is that! I was so sorry to have heard of the loss of your mum, of whom I have fond and happy memories. She was a wise and gentle soul who always made me feel warm and happy whenever I had the opportunity to see her. I know she will be missed by her family and friends for a very long time.
And, Ok, Auntie - you do realize that you have challenged us all to begin contributing thoughts and feelings about your message of departure from this world. Thankfully, it will not require serious consideration for many, many, many years to come.
In the meantime, if I had to think fast - I'd choose lyrics from your collection of musical/theatrical favorites - completing the marker's representation of all things in oral and narrative traditions. I think such a selection would suit Kyle and Miranda as well. Now then, what to choose, what to choose.
Kyle's marker is so very lovely and perfect and for you, I hope, a comfort and a hope... : )
miss you, Cyn. cherish the memories and pics of you and us. you are such a blessing to all who know you. k
mycarlosThe marker is so nice and I am so glad you are happy with it. The anniversary of Carlos dying was the 10th. I still have the ashes in my bedroom and I yet to decide what to do. The days before and after the anniversary have been hard. Somewhere inside of me I kept thinking he was coming back. But he's not and that seems so final now. I think of you daily and wonder how you are. You seem good although I know that comes and goes. I try to keep up with you thru your blog,I'm glad you do it. You are in my heart.
thank you, all, for your comments and thoughts.
janice, i know exactly how you feel. i still think kyle will be back. or rather i forget that he won't be.
i do better and better, although have bouts of incredible weakness, forgetfulness, and/or brain warp--i keep hoping it's grief, not age!
february. an entire year already. i hope the post-anniversary time settles your mind. altho soon it will be the anniversary of your wonderful memorial for carlos. another opportunity for stirring the memory and soul up a bit.
thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. you are in mine.
Post a Comment