This is my first Sunday without Taxes to finish or Contract Job deadline. And I got an extra hour (godbless Daylight Savings) since we fell back last night. I slept in, spent an hour on the phone with a friend. And then went into the Kyle Vault. Actually Sal called me into her room/Ky's room to show me the slide show that seemingly randomly starts up on her/his computer. Loads of images, some taken by Ky, some downloaded, some sent to him by others. It's easy to get swallowed into the experience. Hypnotic slow rhythm of pic after pic after pic. Lots of graffiti, a bunch of internet downloads, occasional gems--like the pic of Ky above, a self- portrait I think.
I search further and find Notepad documents. Many college homework assignments and a couple of diary type entries. My heart and breath stop as I read. I still keep learning about my son.
This one Kyle called:
Terrible
sparked the blunt
that i copped in the park
for a nick, its skinny, i save half for the dark
in the evenin, when the sun goes down
when aint nobody home and nobodys around
turn off the lights i write and burn trees
reach new heights of introspection, every day a new question
constantly guessing, dont look, jump, hold your breath
maybe it'll be cool, maybe might mean death
I know it's not cheery, but for me: finding it is like digging up buried treasure.
Thanks, Kydie.
9 comments:
....so glad you are able to continue to find Kyle in the most unlikely places and at the most unusual times...seems like this past week you really needed to hear from him....Kyle is indeed a treasure.... : )
Cynthia:
The picture is absolutely gorgeous. A treasure. I would love to have a copy of this one. It looks like a ghost . . . he's part there and part gone . . .
The poem is another treasure. I can only imagine how cool it is to be able to move around inside his mind through his computer. Pictures, music, thoughts, that is him you have there.
I love you and really hope that we get to see each other sometime this year. I'm thinking of coming out to LA for a couple of weeks, maybe in late January or early February . . . when the days are really cold and short here.
Best to both you and Sally,
Hugs,
dianne
the computer holds his life, the way each of our does. i don't have his email, but i have so many images and so many random bits. so i continue with my search to capture as much as i can . . . you are always welcome. miss you both.
This picture is amazing. Every once in awhile I'll walk into my/Kyles room and it will be looking at me on the computer and then in a matter of moments it will disappear and go onto another image.
The last time we saw him in the hospital that side of his face that is hidden in this picture was also hidden, in bandages. Sorry to bring it up but it is really strange.
And then there was the poem we think he wrote on the train titled "Last Stop"
We ask for signs are these the signs we are asking for?
(((((((((Di and Robin)))))))
wow, so powerful. that pic of Ky is really something. gorgeous. love you. k
That poem is a trip! i never knew kyle wrote things like that... its great to see how written words affect us differently than verbal interaction!!
hi yuma, nice to see your name. i found a few things that ky wrote. i wish he had written more. but he was far too busy living. hope you are well, young brother.
"We ask for signs are these the signs we are asking for?
(((((((((Di and Robin)))))))
November 7, 2007 6:41 PM"
Sallie, I think that answer is all bound up in the amazing and complex energy of the human spirit that is battery powered, if you will, by our human brain....if the energy of the human spirit can neither be created nor destroyed and if we are inextricably linked by the essence of our shared existences (for however long they may be)....how can we then imagine that the energy of any one human spirit would not seek to commune with those left behind for a period of time which will eventually dissipate as that energy moves forward in time/space?
Pretty heavy stuff, that, but the discoveries of mathematics and physics are proving our mythology and legend regarding life and death almost every day!
If you think about it, Kyle was communicating his destiny before he ever departed for it....what a loving and gentle and kind spirit to do so.... and, he is communicating still.....he so loved his mum, his family....: )
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